Anna Kendrick Is Still Processing Her Trauma – Rolling Stone

anna kendrick is tear. Her father died just two months ago after a long battle with liver disease. And now, the Oscar-nominated actress is trying to promote the most personal film of her career — one that requires her to relive over and over again the “emotionally and psychologically abusive” past relationships it reflects.

“It’s… a little nervous,” she said, her voice hoarse. “But I also think it’s actually helpful to know that my dad isn’t here to listen to it. Is that weird?

On top of that, the diminutive star filmed a particularly poignant episode popular one day ago. Da Bomb seems to have her beat.

“I feel like I’m in another galaxy now.”

We sat face to face in a hotel restaurant in midtown Manhattan. This is the third time I’ve interviewed Kendrick, and I’ve never seen her so vulnerable and vulnerable. In her new film, Alice dearIn the film directed by Mary Nye, she plays a woman whose manipulative boyfriend, an artist named Simon (Charlie Carrick), shatters anything she’s ever had. personality awareness. She exists in a trance, catering to his needs. When we first meet Alice, she’s out drinking with her girlfriends Tess (Kaniehtiio Horn) and Sophie (Wunmi Mosaku). But he won’t let her enjoy it. She was bombarded with text messages and even forced to take a sexy photo of him in the bathroom. When Tess and Sophie invite her on a weekend getaway, distance helps her come to terms with just how toxic her partner really is.

Kendrick, 37, was just two months away from his painful long-term relationship when he received the script Alice dearShe described how she “hulled into a ball” as he “screamed” at her and lived in fear of a man she had spent six years with (who even froze embryos).She’s also keen to play a “more restrained” character, having been drawn to films such as assistant and swallow In the First Months of a Pandemic – Stories of Downtrodden Women Getting Their Voices Back. It’s a powerful, mostly non-verbal shift from Kendrick, who shows up in every scene.

Kendrick is showing exclusively at AMC theaters ahead of the film’s Jan. 20 release, with rolling stone about overcoming an abusive ex and her unique friendship with Aubrey Plaza.

How do you handle a media tour in 2018 Alice dear? This is a unique place because it forces you to share very personal and difficult stories from your past.
I’m really surprised I found the medium more challenging than making this film. I quickly figured it out and made some changes. I did a day of junket-style—six minutes at a time, forty outlets. It feels like I’m trying to get into any open conversations and I have to admit that after the first mediation day, if any journalists come in and they’re not in a super open place and meet me where I am, that’s totally understandable.

Is it still a fairly open wound or has it healed a bit?
I think it’s just a process. Have you ever been too high and started to drop, and you start to think, “Well, thank God, I’m not high anymore.” But then another hour goes by, and you’re like, “Oh my God, I was so high just an hour ago. ’ It felt like I was always — from one week after the relationship, to two weeks after the relationship, to two years after the relationship — going, “Oh, I bet I’ll look back at this moment in a few years and think I’m still the same High.” Sometimes I feel like I’m racing to reach some imaginary finish line, and I’m trying to remember that it’s not actually helping me.

Did the relationship end before the pandemic? Because that introduces a whole different set of factors — basically being stuck with someone.
it doesn’t. It’s weird, because when the pandemic first hit, there was one thing that wasn’t said, and we were almost relieved that something so horrible had happened that neither of us could think about how our relationship went. what’s the problem. The first month has been really great for us because this horrible thing is happening in the world and we have no choice but to be kind to each other. Then slowly you start to realize that it’s going to be like this for the foreseeable future, and start to have room to allow your own personal issues to resurface. There were many months where I would cry inexplicably and he wouldn’t be mad because we could all pretend it was about being stuck inside.

It doesn’t sound like he’s the most supportive or comforting partner when you’re sad.
Yes.I remember rehearsing a scene with Nick Thune love life He’s like, “I know my character is an asshole, but I don’t know why I’m so upset if you’re not going to escalate the fight at all.” I remember saying to him, “Well, maybe it’s because I’m in Cry, this makes you mad.” He was like, “This doesn’t fucking make sense.” I remember thinking, wow, that character is supposed to be a piece of shit, it doesn’t even make sense to him. That’s really bad.

How did you get out of this toxic relationship?Are your friends helping you out like they are Alice dear?
There are so many drops of water in the bucket. I wish I had a concise answer to this. Honestly, I think the most important thing is healing, Al-Anon, and my safe friends and relatives. I start to draw boundaries. [Begins tearing up] I said, “We need to cut ties,” because he was going to leave town anyway, “and if things don’t go well, you might need to move out.” That was a failure for him–it wasn’t even what I wanted , but before six months of therapy and programming, I wasn’t even able to draw a firm boundary.

Plus, he’s cheating. I hesitate to use the word “gaslighting” because it’s so overused these days, but it’s a pretty incredible level of prediction from him.
Yes. I also want to be clear that I don’t think infidelity is abuse. It’s not infidelity, or even lying, but real gaslighting. There are so many times I wonder, “Why can’t he even tell a white lie?” You know what I mean? He could have done that, it was a fucking thing, and it wouldn’t have screwed me up so badly.

Because you confront him about it, and he’s still trying to trick you with some crap.
I remember seeing this video a few weeks after I learned all about it from Dr. Ramani, a psychologist on YouTube. She was talking about how people are obsessed with the idea of ​​catching someone who gaslighted them, and they have this delusional fantasy that once they catch them, they confess everything and apologize. I remember watching that video and feeling defensive because I was like, “Oh, she’s calling me delusional because I think he’s going to confess once I have evidence.” But it was true. When Keith Raniere was arrested, he didn’t just say, “OMG! Now that you spell it out for me, I know I’m a monster.” He just insisted that he had done nothing wrong.

Did your ex play volleyball too?
[Laughs] No, he did not.Sorry, I’m really only watching season 2 [of The Vow], so it’s clearly still in the back of my mind. Watching someone like that defend the defenseless is a little cathartic for me, because it weirdly helps me go, “Yeah, anyone can fool themselves.”

There’s this chaotic dynamic in the movie where your character’s boyfriend obsessively demands pictures of your character wearing scantily clad clothes while you’re apart. This seems to be his way of exerting control over her and her body.
It’s controlling behavior, but I also believe that, for Simon, it comes from a place of despair and terror. This thought process is part of what I love about making this film, and one of the reasons I love the film as a whole. Everyone is willing to see how complicated it is. Once it becomes a caricature, it’s very easy to distance yourself from it and say, “Oh, this is a bad guy doing bad things, I don’t know anyone like that.” The whole effort is to keep things grounded.

Was Aubrey Plaza one of the friends you leaned on when your relationship fell apart?I remember you were all at Sundance a few years ago life after beth There, you two look as thick as thieves. I was at a party with some friends and the two of you danced up a storm.then you did Mike and Dave need a wedding date Together.
I texted her this week. I think she’s smart and we’re both avoidants, so I think it’s hard for two avoiders to maintain a friendship, but I also think that’s why our friendship survives in a sense. We can all give each other a lot of space. I do remember talking to her a bit about what happened. But even so, I bet if I read through the text, I bet I was testing the waters to see how much I could say before she told me “you really have to leave” – ​​at the time, I was embarrassed Said, I can’t accept it. I’m always trying to tell people what’s going on and they’ll give me some magic advice but won’t tell me the truth, which is: “You have to leave.” I just can’t hear.

When you start out as an actor, you’re so young. How do you feel about your career development?
I remember my mom saying to me years ago, “Oh, when I was your age, I still felt like I was 19.” I remember thinking, “Oh, I didn’t.” age. I have lived a lot and am tired.

Because this year is your first time in camp.
I know! This is crazy. There are times when I feel really good in my Granny days – which is good! I really feel my age. The director is also really inspiring. That was the happiest I’ve been in years. My ultimate dream is to be John Lithgow – wherever he goes, he seems happy to be there. I spend a lot of time trying to be on high alert, to be perfect, and to do people their jobs. But it’s not altruistic; it’s a terrible thing to do. I looked at John and he seemed free. He doesn’t think about the outcome.it’s a big deal for me Alice dear. Every project I do I hope to get an instant hit and I end up trying to make everyone in Video Village very happy and get a gold star on set.It’s really scary, but it’s really worth it to me, to do it I know people will go home and no Thinking, “Man, Ana did a great job today.” I tried to just tell the truth.

As a New Yorker, I feel obliged to ask you about Desus & Melo Split. I’m a huge fan of them, and I know you’re friends with the show — and Desus’s too. What do you think about this?
I know! I love both. I know a little more about Desus, but I really like them both. I think they are great. It’s even more heartbreaking when you think, “Wait, neither of you absolutely have to keep doing this show like I do? How dare you!” very sad.

I teach at Columbia University and many college students are now addicted to twilighteven though they were too young to watch at the time.
Has it become a camp?

Maybe they haven’t been properly serviced by YA stuff for a while. Does the whole era seem like a fever dream to you?
twilight? Very much so. very very. Back then, I was the satellite guy in those movies. I can still walk down the street perfectly fine – though some of them still recognize me. I’m not playing a character who makes people fantasize about being a vampire. It was like, “Oh, these guys have become the most famous people on the planet, and they’re going to be like that forever.” Then they became the butt of every joke. It’s funny to me that this happened.That is Very wilderness.